OK. So my grandmother died december 27th. My 18th birthday is february 1st. Apparently my relatives (including my father) thought it would be a fantastic idea to have the funeral the day before…
Her death was really sudden and unexpected. She specifically requested the doctors not to tell anyone - including her husband whom she has been married to for many many years. We later four out that she knew she was going to die since middle of november but for some time people thought she knew before her birthday (1 week before she found out) and lied to all of our faces etc. She had already been in the hospital for 1 week before we really starter to worry because she said it was only an infection and another week after that she died.
We went to visit her on december 24th which is the day we celebrate christmas here and she already looked like a corpse. That day at 3pm when everyone else in Sweden sits down to watch the same Donald Duck rerun as every year (huge tradition) we heard from the doctor about her condition which was that her cancer was back and that if she didn't start responding to treatment she would be dead in a matter of days. The cancer choked an important vein to the liver and she died from liver failure.
After our visit we had to go celebrate christmas at my uncles house and tell them about her. They were chocked but had already considered it, unlike me who hadn't been told anything until the day before. In order to still make it a happy christmas for their kids all of them kept their pokerface and I was the only one in tears. It did not help that my grandmothers brothers girlfriend started taking pictures of me (while crying) and got really offended when I walked away from it.
Anyway now I have to prepare a birthday party. I feel sick even thinking about the concept birthday so I really don't want to "celebrate". When I try to get some advice from my mother who is the one wanting me to celebrate she just starts to rapidly defend herself for wanting to go to the funeral. Good job. The things I had already planned had to be scraped because serving a cake in the form of a bloody brain might not be the most sensitive thing to do…
I can't really say I have the time to be thinking about this at all because I've got so much to do in school now it's filling my entire time. Instead of doing the work however I choose tumblr. Yeah. Good job there.
Sorry for the long journal just needed to vent.